As I begin re-branding the site I’ve chosen to take a hiatus and call attention to archived posts. This summer the site will be back running full force with a face lift, new categories and collaborations with my favorite bloggers. See you then babes!
four-five seconds was a post that i wrote to vent and to also give my readers comfort in know that you’re not the only one on the verge of losing your mind. when i wrote this post i was at a point where i had the most clarity i’d had in years to be honest, but even then the windshield was still foggy. well, it still is but less now all thanks to a friend.
my kind and very wise friend cushi left the most enlightening comment four-five seconds and i want you all to read it. in less than four hundred words he’s given me, and now you, a new perspective on how to reach new heights without the pressure i assumed was necessary. after reading this snippet of cushi’s wisdom visit his blog (click here) for the real soul food.
Until recently, I had a tendency to put myself under a lot of pressure in the pursuit of my goals. I’m a certified life coach and one of the most powerful things I took from my training was that in any situation, options are infinite. Sometimes they seem limited, but that is only our perception. Fear comes up and blinds our reason and logic.
I once read a book by Brian Tracey on reinvention. It talked about reinventing oneself at transitional phases of one’s life. Somewhere in between this idea of reinvention and the idea of limitless options, I landed on this concept of reinventing my relationship to certain things.
One of the first things I addressed was my relationship with success and the way I pursue it. I committed myself to creating an option that didn’t involve putting myself under pressure at all. It’s been tricky because pressure is my go to when things get down to the wire and I often find myself feeling pressured or about to feel pressured, but I’ve replaced pressure with trust. I do my part and allow the universe to fill in the rest.
So far my results have improved in a lot of areas. It’s been about 3 or 4 months. The most surprising thing has been that nothing got worse as a result of not pressuring myself towards my goals. I feel a lot more connected with myself and the people in my life. I’m really able to enjoy life as it unfolds and I’ve gained an immense appreciation for all these good things and even the adversities that happen in my life. I’ve learned to see those as blessings.
| Thanks for being so open and fearless and for sharing your experience and your thoughts with us. Bless you, Queen. I’m thankful that I came across this <3 |
thank you cushi, you caught me just before the clock ran out.
i’ve been pretty hard on myself lately. i feel so much pressure (self-induced) to figure my life out and the first step in that process is making a plan for the next two years and sticking with it. for so long i’ve prided myself on my keenness to change that it’s become apart of my identity but now i’m longing for some consistency.
i know i’m not the only person who’s at this transitional point in life so here’s some advice, fresh off the press, to help you cross over.
how do we know when we’ve gone from applying a healthy amount of pressure on ourselves to an unhealthy amount?
i’ve been trying to answer that question for a couple of months. i’m in limbo. somewhere between ‘when building a diamond there’s no such thing as too much pressure’ and ‘be kind to yourself, you’re doing better than you know.’ in search of more persuasion i did something that i actually despise and peeped in on the lives of old classmates and peers to see where they are now.
the worst part of a break-up is the aftermath. there are a number of uncomfortable things that transpire, some of which are actually funny in hindsight but deathly embarrassing in the moment – others that’ll never be funny but were necessary to go through. here are my four worst break-up and post break-up stories, to conclude my sex and the city inspired series.
i know it’s been weeks since my last post and for that i’m sincerely ashamed and almost embarrassed, i’ve been so busy traveling and getting my life in order as my time in spain is soon ending and i have no clue what’s next. but that’s neither here nor there, because i’m back on track now.
this is the second to last of my sex and the city 2.0 series and though i don’t have a particular episode to reference, it’s inspired by all the relationships the girls ended up in that actually worked out, until they didn’t. i talked about soulmates, then about whether the relationships we find ourselves in work because they fit naturally or we’ve forced them to. today i’m giving my take on when it’s time to walk away.
i’ve had my share of relationships with guys who i thought, or at least wanted to think, were “the one.” most habitually single girls, like myself, find solace in saying that they somehow always end up with the worst guys and that’s why it never works out, but i can’t say that. i’ve dated some amazing guys who it just didn’t work out with and whether things ended in a civil manner or not, an ending of some sort was inevitable. i’m pretty good at walking away but my timing has always been off. i’m prone to staying too long in anticipation of what’s around the corner or bailing too soon because i’m just not interested one way or another. i’ve grown to accept that neither is acceptable behavior, but the worse of the two is staying too long, in my opinion. yes, constantly running away from people is a bad habit, but is staying in a relationship that is no longer or never was truly serving you any better? and if we find ourselves in that foolish state of blindly loving someone, how do we decipher between a healthy attempt at fixing the problems that arise in a relationship and just needing to walk away? when is simply feeling that enough is enough, enough?Continue reading
before carrie visited the idea of soulmates, for shits and giggles, she did a little market research on people’s belief in love at first sight. the general consensus was that one who knows anything about love couldn’t possibly be so naïve as to believe in love at first sight. though standing right before her at the altar, only weeks after meeting, were two strangers who’d fallen in love the moment they first locked eyes, the people had spoken and love at first sight was for the naïve. having already taken her stance against believing in their love, carrie was completely stumped when the bride to be requested that she write and recite an original poem at the reception. luckily, big and carrie’s on and off relationship was on at the moment, and though she didn’t believe in love at first sight she did believed in the power of love. she could do this. things were never perfect between she and big, this is only episode eight of season two that we’re referencing and already carrie and big broken up and gotten back together again, but this time things felt different. that would be her inspiration, he would be her muse.
after committing a number of party fouls, the worst being answering a phone call while carrie recited her poem, big had truly outdone himself on this day. torn up inside and questioning just how different things actually were, carrie kept herself composed and was a good sport about big’s, big ways until she was back home and could have a proper sit down with herself to digest.